Saving the Planet

     We try to do our part to save the planet, so we just dropped off three bags of newspapers for recycling and now I have to start a new bag.
     It doesn't take long to fill a bag. Years ago I got the newspaper every day. I always read the obituaries, of course, to make sure I'm not in there, and because people have led such interesting lives that nobody even finds out about till they're dead. And the Funnies. I guess most people call them the Comics. I think they are essential to a good education and since our grandkids in Edmond don't get the paper at their house, I mail them the Sunday Funnies every week.
     Then I read the headlines to my husband, at least the interesting ones, and I cut out important articles for all the other members of my family because I am the Keeper of The News, the last one in our immediate family who actually reads black and white words from real paper you hold in your hands.
     I used to get the paper delivered every day but since I feel the need to read the whole thing if it shows up in my yard, no matter how old, it sometimes became a problem, like when it built up to a pile the size of a bumpy beached whale when we went out of town or something, and my neighbor very sweetly brought the paper in with the mail she was getting for us. (You can't call and have it stopped because I saw on TV that sometimes burglers have a part-time job in the circulation department and then they know you are aren't home!) I kept trying to catch up, starting with the first day we were gone and then the next day, but there was another one out there each morning and it was like a bad dream where you are running in place but never getting anywhere. I thought I caught Dennis on the internet looking up how you can get someone on that "Hoarders, Buried Alive" show on TV, but, of course, he denied it. I mean, please! He could still walk down the hallway if he turned sideways.
     So I took a deep breath, called the Circulation Department and asked to get just the Sunday paper.  It is full of coupons as well as all the interesting ads...I always call and tell my daughter-in-law when something good is on sale...so I have to get the Sunday paper. But they had this "Week-end Special": if you took the Sunday paper, you got Saturday, which has the real estate ads. I'm not planning to move but I like to see what million dollar houses are really going for these days. And Friday's paper came along with it. It is full of all the entertainment places you might want to go on the week-end if you aren't busy reading the newspaper. And the package cost almost the same as just the Sunday. "Okay," I said. "I'll take the Week-end Special."
     And then a few months later they added Thursdays. For free! You can't turn down free. But that is all! Of course, the neighborhood paper that they throw in your yard whether you ask for it or not comes on Wednesday mornings, and the food ads, which are almost like a small newspaper, come in the mail on Tuesdays. So now, Mondays are the only days we don't get some papers that are going to need to be recycled. I won't even start about the magazines we get.
     I like to use paper grocery bags to store them because they are just the right size and they are recycleable too. You just dump the whole thing in the bin. They are a little hard to find anymore, though. I used to get them from Reasor's but they have changed over to plastic and the only place who still uses paper that I know of is Braum's, the ice cream place.
     So, I guess I don't have a choice. If I want to be keep on saving the planet, I'm going to have to start eating more ice cream.