Language Lesson

So, it's about ten years ago, when she was close to ninety, and my mom and are I tottering out to her car, (No, I'm holding onto her. SHE'S tottering, smart alec!), when four or five guys about fourteen or fifteen years old come walking down the road laughing and talking really loud and there are only about two regular words to every nineteen of the grossest cuss words in the world in their whole conversation.  I look at my mom to see if she hears. This is the woman who would confide in you that cousin Margaret was "in a family way again" to avoid saying the word pregnant. She's pretty deaf but these guys are coming closer and getting louder.

Well, what could I do?  I get Mom to the lamp post, prop her up and tell her to wait a minute, then I march toward the boys in my toughest, "I've taken on two sons and most of their friends" attitude and say "Guys!  Come on.  Don't you see there's an old lady there?  Can you keep it down at least while she can hear you?" 

Here's where it could have gone either way.  They could have whipped out their switch-blades, or better yet their Saturday Night Specials, and taken care of this pesky little old lady first, then the other little old lady by the lamp post, or they could have looked kind of sheepish, mumbled "Oh, sorry," and slunk on down the street without saying another word.  Thank the Lord, they chose the second option because I hadn't considered the first possibility until I got us both in her car.  Then I realized what I had done and could barely breathe.  I've been thinking about that lately.

When Jake was five years old we were coming home from Mother's Day Out (he hadn't even been to kindergarten yet!) one day and he asked me what the F- word meant.  He didn't spell it out.  I tried not to act shocked but I still remember exactly where I was standing in the garage at the time. It made an indelible mark. (Okay, I know you are wondering:  I did explain it to him but I also let him know it was NOT a word we say.)

I'm not sure people even care any more. They don't seem to have taught their kids otherwise, anyway.  It's just the culture, they say.  You hear way worse than that in movies and in the music everybody listens to.  You can't walk through a school hall or sit in a restaurant without hearing that word or most any other word out there. You hear it from the Vice President of the United States.  Even from Betty White, for heaven's sake.  It's just the way it is.  So, what's the big deal?

Sorry, but it is a big deal to me.  I recently "un-friended" a young relative on Facebook because the language in his posts was unbearable.  Actually, it didn't even make any sense in the context he was writing; it was more like he was using a four-letter punctuation mark every other word.  And, always being the second mom to those boys who hung around our house when the kids were growing up, I recently took one of them to task for his language on Facebook.  So, call me an old-fashioned prude.

I may be the last person in the world who feels this way but I find such language disgusting and offensive, vile, insulting, and objectionable, not to speak of nasty, hideous, ill-bred and rude.  See?  There are other words available. Have you no imagination? Is your vocabulary so limited? When you use the same tiresome vulgarities over and over you not only sound crude, you are also advertising your apparent lack of education.  As Dennis is fond of saying, "When you talk like that nobody listens to what you are saying, only to how you are saying it."

If you want what comes out of your mouth to sound like it made a detour through the bottom of the kitty litter pan  (it is, after all, your right of free-speech, as much as it is my right to complain about it) so be it.  I'm sure you won't mind if I choose not to listen or read or watch.

If you're trying to shock people, too late. We've all heard it, seen it, read it before.  If you really want to shock people, imagine there is a little old lady leaning up against a lamp post just within ear shot.  Speak accordingly. The one who might get the biggest shock is you when you realize you sound like an intelligent person with self-respect and dignity.