Hands Free Talking

Even though I think people look like Cyborgs when they wear that thing in their ear instead of talking into a real cell phone, I want one.  A Blue Tooth, I think it is called, although I don't know why they don't call it a Blue Ear, but they didn't ask me.  I don't want a phone like that, I just want the ear piece.  That way when I am walking around talking to myself people will think I'm on the phone and will quit looking at me like I'm weird.  Okay, they'll probably still look at me like I'm weird but it will be because I'll look like a Cyborg talking on the phone.

I can't help it.  I've always talked to myself.  It's important that I list what I have to do next, like "The keys. You have to take the keys if you want to start the car," or "Probably better comb your hair today. You don't want a repeat of yesterday."  Or, it just comes out, like "I can't believe she's wearing that out in public!  Don't people own mirrors??"  It's okay when you have a baby with you or even a dog because you can pretend you are talking to them but in reality, it's me talking to me.

I don't talk just to me, of course, although at least I will always listen to me and not totally tune me out while doing stuff on a smart phone and I'D LIKE TO SEE SOMETHING BESIDES THE TOP OF SOMEBODY'S HEAD SOME DAY! and......Sorry, where was I?  Oh, yeah. Sometimes I talk to the people in the other cars on the road when I am driving.  Necessary things, like "The speed limit is 45 and you're going 30 because...???" or "Oh, sorry. I didn't see you in my blind spot there. My fault,  my fault.  I SAID I was sorry!"  Stuff like that.

Dennis makes fun of me when I talk to other drivers. He says "You do know they can't hear you, right?" I'm not sure though.  I think they get the gist of it sometimes.  I'm pretty sure they talk to me too.  Occasionally they will even answer me with sort of a wave.

This is from the guy who records the baseball games so he can zoom through the commercials, then when he is watching he yells at the players while they are at bat. "Keep your head down! What are you doing? That ball was completely in the dirt!" etc. He's talking to them even though the game has occurred an hour and a half ago, thus transcending both time and space. I don't think they can hear him

At least when I'm talking to myself or to other drivers or, that guy at the dog groomers where I'm never going back, the guy with so many piercings if you took out the bling & put a hose in his mouth he could double as a lawn sprinkler, it is in real time. (Well, of course I only said it when he was in the back room getting Gus.  He was the size of a Humvee.  Do you think I'm crazy?)

So if you see me at the store or someplace and it looks like I'm talking wildly to myself, check out my ear to see if I'm wearing any kind of communication device.  I may be having an important discussion with.....someone.