Yesterday we went to a new (to us) restaurant in Oklahoma City and when I went back to the restroom I was so excited to be able to tell which door I was supposed to go into. The signs said "Men" and "Women". I could do that.
I hate it when restaurants get cute with their bathroom signs. Some I can decipher, like "Senors and Senoritas" or "Lads and Lassies" but at Outback it is "Blokes" and "Sheilas" (my name is not Sheila, how was I supposed to figure that one out?) Or you follow the horse shoes embedded into the floor until you come upon two doors labeled "Does and Bucks". There are the aptly named "Gulls and Buoys" at a seafood restaurant. I have even heard of "Elvis and Priscilla"---please! And the ever popular "Dukes and Duchesses", "Adams and Eves", and the absurdly politically incorrect "Braves and Squaws." Come on! I may be in a hurry here.
My favorite high school English teacher named----wait for it---- Mr. John, was quite adamant that we not call a rest room a "John". Who could blame him? They didn't have these cute names back then anyway and we only had ten minutes between classes so we weren't likely to even get to one.
When my youngest son was little he knew all the restrooms in all the grocery stores or fast food places we frequented and he wanted to go all by himself (you could do that back then). He always seemed to find the right one, even before he could read. Once at the library, though, he came back to me quite upset "There are girls in the boys' bathroom," he said. When I went to investigate I finally found the secret to his success. He had figured out that the door to the room he wanted was the one with the shortest word: Men. The library had foiled him by labeling their bathroom doors "Gentlemen and Ladies."
Now, of course, most places have little pictures to go with the signs: little stick figures, one in pants and one in a skirt. I guess it could still be confusing in Scotland where men wear kilts, but they probably have that worked out somehow. And I have not worn anything but pants in I don't know how long, but I usually get it right.
Okay, there have been a couple of times when I was kind of not paying attention or was in a great big hurry and wound up in the wrong place. I did notice once I got in there, though, and got out quick. Well, except for that time that there was an enormous line at the ladies room and no men around and it was just ridiculous to leave that other room empty and I led the charge and a group of us used the other room. It was a Women's Conference, after all. We hollered loudly first to make sure we weren't interrupting anybody.
I guess I shouldn't complain as long as there are public restrooms that are clean and contain the usual facilities, once I find my way into the right one. I have been in foreign countries where the bathroom accommodation is a hole in the floor with pictures of shoe soles on either side to show you where you are supposed to put your feet. You may think I'm kidding, but I swear I'm not.
At my age I am very thankful for Quik Trip, on almost every corner and with bathroom doors labeled in words I can understand.
Just don't make me choose between "Setters and Pointers"!
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