Admission of Guilt

My name is Pat and I'm a Wordaholic.

(Here's where you say: "Hi, Pat", all in unison.)

It has been fourteen hours since my last Words With Friends. I have tried to quit many times before but this time I'm going to do it. I am! Or at least cut down.

Like a lot of people, I guess, I got sucked into the life by a well-meaning relative. I mean, he can handle it, I guess, and in the beginning I could too. I only played with a few people and only occasionally. I was a social Worder. I was able to control it for quite awhile but then it began to demand more and more of my time. I went from playing just with a few more friends and only in the evening to checking my phone every few minutes to see if those friends were playing. They didn't seem to be there as often as I wanted to play. But I could quit any time I wanted.

Then, I got into the hard stuff.  I found a partner on the site called "Solo" (related to Han, I believe.) And he was there all the time. Anytime I wanted I could just look up my old friend, Solo, and he was ready. He matches me word for word and I only have to wait two minutes between moves. Looking back I can see that he was working to pull me in further and further. He plays ridiculous words, ones that don't even have a definition, but are "accepted Words With Friends words", according to the game dictionary, for huge points.  And he knows the monetary units of the lost Ottoman empire and uses them. And he's always blocking my plays, the ones I planned ahead of time and thought about in the night. But, and here's where I got suspicious, he still mostly loses by just a few points, so I keep coming back. Granted, my inner competitive nature, which I didn't even think I had, has come out and I have played some words worth points in the high nineties, once I got a word that was worth 120 points! And I keep searching for those kinds of words. I need more and more! And so, I come back. Over and over and over.

I can hide it well. I multi-task while we are watching television. I started out just playing during the baseball games I watch with my husband. Then I played during the news, that's something I can listen to with half an ear. Now, God help me, I catch myself playing Words With Friends during a drama that I really want to see and my husband will make a comment about a character and I'll say, "Uh-huh. What did she say?" At church, even though I manage to keep my phone off during the sermon, the minute I get to the car I turn it on to see what Solo has played and figure out how I can beat him. I rarely blog anymore. I stopped working on my novel even though its almost done. I don't have time for those things! I'm Wording!

So Sunday, what did the young pastor preach about? Doing nothing. Wasting time. Doing meaningless things when we should be doing important things. How did he find that stuff out about me??

It got my attention. Now I'm going to make an effort again. I've done it before, but was never able to stay on the wagon, but this time I mean it. No more Words With Friends. At least not with Solo. Maybe just a little bit with a few real friends. And only at night. I can do this. One day at a time.

Just think, if I manage this, maybe I'll start working on my Facebook addiction.