My Wedding Dress

I read that at the Republican convention Ivanka Trump wore a white dress from her own line that cost $158.00. (and Hilary Clinton wore a potato sack, excuse me, tweed jacket by Armani that cost $12,000.00 Now, I'm not making a political statement here, but, does Hilary Clinton not have a mirror? Or people to tell her?)

Of course, $158.00 is probably more than the sum total of the worth of all the clothes in my whole closet, but when your father is a billionaire, that is probably the equivalent to her of, say, $2.49, which is what I usually pay for anything that I buy from Goodwill, my personal couturier. The tag says $4.99 but I only buy things when I have a half-off coupon.

I do, however, have one dress that I did not buy at Goodwill. It may have cost $15.00. There was a close-out store called NBC ("1/2 Off of 1/2 Off!!!) that was near the furniture store where I worked in Oklahoma City about twenty-five years ago and sometimes, if you looked long and hard, you could find both pieces of a two piece outfit on the same day. And that is what I did when we were invited to the symphony in Kansas City when our son, Josh and his wife, Jerilyn lived there. (The fact that Josh was willing to go to the symphony with me again is probably a testament to Jerilyn's persuasive powers. But that's another blog. If you are curious, you can go to
http://patcareyanoldwifestales.blogspot.com/2011/07/practice-makes-perfect.html

I knew that you don't wear pants and a jacket, my work outfit, to the symphony, or even your clean khakis, so I bit the bullet, searched every rack in the whole store, and, voila!...there it was: a yellow, loosely pleated skirt and a matching top, sort of tunic length, in a fabric that kind of looks like the woven chain mail that a knight wore under his armor. With shoulder pads. And they were both rather flow-y.

At any rate, I actually pulled off the symphony thing without incident, and now I had a real dress that was not going to go to waste. It was that time in our lives when it seemed that all of our friends' kids and all of our kids' friends were getting married and a symphony dress is perfect for a wedding so I wore it often for a few years. Then it was my Easter dress a few times, okay, every Easter since then, and after the last two of my nephews were married it has been in my closet except for Easter and the occasional wedding every since.

So, naturally, when Dennis's client was getting married at a fancy hotel a couple of years ago, I didn't have to worry about what to wear. My wedding dress was waiting. Okay, the flow-y thing isn't going on any more, but I did cut out the shoulder pads somewhere along the way and I cut out that pesky tag that is beyond scratchy, always sticking up above your neckline for everybody to see when they are sitting behind you at a wedding.

It took me quite awhile to struggle into pantyhose, a piece of lingerie invented by the Marquis de Sade, I believe. And I did have a thing where my glasses fell apart at the last minute and I had to fasten them together with a straight pin that I stuck through the two holes where the ear piece is supposed to fasten onto the glass part (It's usually better to have the pins with the colorful bead at the top that make them easier to grasp when you are sewing but maybe this time the plain kind would have been better) but once I found a pair of shoes that were not flip-flops in the back of the closet we were good to go.

I guess it had been a few years since I wore the dress because I didn't remember it being that uncomfortable. I had rolled the skirt up into the elastic waist to get it the right length, but  I always do that.The top was just kind of binding my neck. Ok, the flow-y thing is sort of a fitted thing now but it was more than that. During the whole ceremony it felt like I was wearing a straight jacket. Finally, between the wedding and the reception, I found a ladies' room and took a good look in the well-lighted mirror. I was wearing the top backwards. Do you know how hard it is to change a dress in a little stall in a public restroom? There may have been some gasping and groaning and another wedding guest sort of looked at me strangely when I came out.

Well, now I know to look for the darts in the front of the dress before I put it on. I'm sure you'll get to see it come Easter, unless we are invited to the symphony before then.  I'm thinking of starting my own line of wedding/Easter/symphony dresses. I heard that the one Ivanka wore sold out in days.