Making the Bed. Or Not.

     I didn't make the bed again today. Or yesterday. Or, I can't remember when---probably not since the last time we had company. Like anyone ever goes in our bedroom to see the bed, but still, when you have company, you make the bed and clean out the medicine cabinet in the hall bathroom. In case.
     It's not that I'm lazy. Well, okay, I am lazy, but that's not the reason I don't make the bed. We have perfectly fine bedding. In fact, last time we moved I spent a lot of time and more money than I usually do buying fabric, and hand sewing a dust ruffle with tuxedo pleats, making pillow shams, bolster pillows, little frou-frou pillows that go on top of the comforter, and matching window treatments. The dust ruffle and the window treatments are in their places, but all the pillows, shams, bolsters and frou-frou are in the corner of the bedroom waiting to be put back on the bed. Someday.
    The comforter, itself, is folded into a neat rectangle and plopped on the foot of the bed. Gus, the Wonder-Yorkie, is the original Princess, albeit, a Prince, (well not completely a prince any more, if you know what I mean, so it is okay for him to be princess-y), from the Princess and the Pea. He likes to lie on soft things, especially down. The comforter has become Gus's "nest". It is a shame to disturb him. He sleeps there at night and the cat sleeps there most of the day. So, you see, I can't make the bed.
     The other thing about the bed is Dennis's pile of pillows.  He has them in exactly the configuration he likes them.  He says he can't sleep flat, so he has a wedge pillow, a hand-me-down anorexic down pillow passed down from the last time I got a new one, and two ancient pillows the thickness of a credit card. When I put the pillowcases on those two old pillows it doubles their thickness. ithout the cases on they are practically transparent. Did I mention they are thin? I think he has had them since third grade and heaven help me if I attempt to replace them.
     And they have to be stacked Just So on the bed. First the wedge pillow, then the two business cards masquerading as pillows, one on top of the other, then the pillow with the down of, maybe, three goslings in it. The suggestion that he could probably get the same effect with just one nice, new, plump pillow is met with The Look accompanied by The Sigh. I need to keep my mitts off his pile of pillows. It is enough that he has to rearrange this collection once a week after I wash the sheets and things. So, you see, I can't make the bed.
     Back when I used to make the bed I would sit against the headboard and pull all the sheets and covers straight before I even got out, then slither as carefully as possible out the side and the whole thing was practically done before my feet hit the floor. These days I get up before Dennis and no matter how smooth I might get things on my side, there is still that big lump---oh! that's him---on his side, and then when he does get up he wants to sit on the side of the bed to get dressed so there is simply no point in trying to straighten anything. Or make the bed.
     Besides, one of the coolest things about being retired is the possibility, the hint of a suggestion, that maybe, just maybe, I might get to go back and take a nap. Not that I have ever done it, but I could if I wanted to. I want to leave my options open. So, you see, I can't make the bed.