The Perfect Guest

Okay, I know Thanksgiving is over and everyone but me has the house cleaned, all their Christmas decorations up and is sitting by the fireplace drinking hot chocolate, but just so you will be ready for next year, I'm going to tell you how to have a relaxing Thanksgiving dinner.

Go to someone else's house and be a guest. You have to be a semi-stranger guest, so that when you say "Is there anything I can do to help?" They say, "Oh, no. Things are almost ready. Just stay seated." Then eat everything till your pants are ready to split and your hostess will feel complimented. The only flaw in this plan is that there are no leftovers for lunch the next day.

The other way is almost as good. Have the dinner at your house but invite someone like my daughter-in-law, Jerilyn, to come early, and let her help. She will wind up doing almost all the work. You just say, "The turkey is always so good at your house. How is it you fix it?" and she will prepare the turkey. Then you say, "Everybody loves your dressing so much. Why don't you just make it here?" and she will.

Then, since she is already in the kitchen, she will probably stir things on the stove, mix up casseroles, make the gravy, (especially when you say "I absolutely love your gravy and you know I can never make it as good as you do!" ) and get things on the table. You can get the dishes down because you know where they are and she is busy. Except the ones that are up too high. She will stop what she's doing and reach the top shelf for you.

If the kids are big enough, you can get them to clear the table when dinner is over, but then when everybody has scattered to watch football or play video games, your special guest will stay in the kitchen with you and help with the dishes. She will scrape the plates and hand them to you to load into the dishwasher since no one else can load your dishwasher the right way and you always move things around anyway if someone else put them in. But she will probably put soap and water in the sink and hand wash the things that are too big for the dishwasher and scrub the really tough ones till she breaks a fingernail. And she'll wipe down the counters.

And then, if you are really lucky, she will whip the cream, get everybody their desserts, cut a piece of pie and hand it to you and say, "Go sit down and put your feet up.  You've been working all day."

You've got eleven months to decide who you are going to invite next year, so get planning.  And, no, you can't have Jerilyn. She's mine!